Not that anyone still there is likely see this since I'm going to delete the journal shortly.
(Yes, I'm still alive. Part time job for the moment, with Sine Nomine Associates doing OpenAFS support work. I did end up living out of my car for a while but am now ensconced in my sister's basement while I build up enough money to go elsewhere.)
So, LJ introduced the idea of a "share" button which reposts someone else's entry in your journal. This originally was opt-in; you had to add a special button to your post to enable the functionality.
It's no longer opt-in; all public posts can now be arbitrarily edited and reposted without your consent. Note in particular the "edited" part.
Quote from elsewhere:
I'm done with LJ.
Dreamwidth is a nice alternative if you're still on the sinking ship.
(Yes, I'm still alive. Part time job for the moment, with Sine Nomine Associates doing OpenAFS support work. I did end up living out of my car for a while but am now ensconced in my sister's basement while I build up enough money to go elsewhere.)
So, LJ introduced the idea of a "share" button which reposts someone else's entry in your journal. This originally was opt-in; you had to add a special button to your post to enable the functionality.
It's no longer opt-in; all public posts can now be arbitrarily edited and reposted without your consent. Note in particular the "edited" part.
Quote from elsewhere:
"That looks like the result of a conversation along the lines of "Why tumblr more popular than Livejournal?" "Well, They support their content creators, don't fuck with major functionality without warning, and have a 'reblog' button" "Da! Reblog button! Implement that. You have an hour""F**k. That. S**t.
I'm done with LJ.
Dreamwidth is a nice alternative if you're still on the sinking ship.
While I'm not for the most part having dreams that I remember, due to having a widget that tries to wake me up at an appropriate point in the sleep cycle, of late I've been having dreams while still falling asleep (and which stay with me if interrupted. these are distinct in feel from normal dreaming, fwiw).
So, I had this not-dream that was vaguely like the start of Niven's "Rammer" (aka the start of A World Out of Time), except not. For one thing, I was rather startled to be awakened at all; I had made no plans to be cryogenically or otherwise preserved; yet there I was, in a body not my own in what was evidently not particularly near future.
I didn't get to the point of finding out exactly why I had been resuscitated/what they wanted me for, except in general terms; apparently both they and whoever had arranged for me to be frozen in the first place were under the misapprehension that I was a supergenius of some kind. (No pressure....) Those who had revived me took as proof of this that I was probing to try to find out (a) what kind of world I had stumbled into, (b) whether I was actually alive or in some kind of simulation, and (c) if being in a different body with its altered chemistry was affecting the way my mind works. (c) was especially relevant given that they seemed to be looking for a supergenius and I had very little expectation that a brain without my dopamine issues and a body with various other differences (including gut fauna; this, via recent ScienceDaily articles about the surprisingly pervasive effects of our gut fauna on our bodies, is probably what set off the dream) would process information in quite the same way.
The different body business turned out to be because of two things: first, that while they (or their ancestors) could apparently read engrams from frozen brains, they'd given up on any possibility of thawing people without their cells exploding en masse, and second because the space and power requirements of storing many corpsicles (term from aforementioned story, not used in the dream) had been such that they'd eventually simply scanned everyone's engrams into storage media and then mass buried the bodies. (At which point I wondered why they hadn't saved a couple cells from each for cloning, although dream-me never got the chance to ask about it.)
I was considering the phrasing of that question while listening to a brief explanation of current events that implied more than it said: that we were not on Earth, that at least several hundred years had passed, and that my revivers didn't quite know what they were doing. That is, it was clear that they had, and understood, the equipment for storing and recovering engrams, but were puzzled by some of the protocols they were following; those protocols, however, to me indicated that whoever had put them in place had at least somewhat understood the implications of reviving someone from a different time and culture. Much of this came out by comparison: I was apparently far from the first person this group had revived, and was handling it rather differently than their earlier attempts; most of whom, I was told, had not made much of an attempt to understand the nature of their new circumstances. (This was, again, taken as proof that I was some kind of supergenius. I was wondering how to break it to them that it it was less about genius than about always feeling somewhat out of place.) In this context I asked about some kind of access to current and historical information so I could try to get a feel for my new life. —And then someone in the next room bumped the wall and I was fully awake.
I'm reading this as a touch of Impostor Syndrome, to the extent that one of the reasons I'm not doing so well in looking for jobs is the feeling that I'm not able to measure up to what others see of me (or what my résumé says about me, for that matter) and am therefore afraid to apply to jobs at the level I "should" be working at, and aiming at lower level jobs either makes people suspicious or leaves them wondering if I'll demand too high a salary. (Please. I used to work in academia, and before that for very small companies. I only barely reached what would be the market rate for entry level jobs in my field....) In particular, over the past several days I've apparently managed to give a number of people the impression that I am somehow omniscient; for example, the other day someone showed up in #haskell asking rather odd questions about how GHC worked, and I was able to figure out that they were coming at it from the impression that it was a self-bootstrapping virtual machine architecture instead of a compiler. (The entire conversation before that felt a lot like people speaking different languages at each other while thinking they were speaking the same language; which, in a certain sense, is true.) I'm also increasingly worried that aforementioned dopamine issues (never clearly determined, but pretty much everything wrong with me can be mapped directly to specific known effects of dopamine imbalance) are getting worse; of course, the flip side of this is that anxiety doesn't help with dopamine imbalances at all....
So, I had this not-dream that was vaguely like the start of Niven's "Rammer" (aka the start of A World Out of Time), except not. For one thing, I was rather startled to be awakened at all; I had made no plans to be cryogenically or otherwise preserved; yet there I was, in a body not my own in what was evidently not particularly near future.
I didn't get to the point of finding out exactly why I had been resuscitated/what they wanted me for, except in general terms; apparently both they and whoever had arranged for me to be frozen in the first place were under the misapprehension that I was a supergenius of some kind. (No pressure....) Those who had revived me took as proof of this that I was probing to try to find out (a) what kind of world I had stumbled into, (b) whether I was actually alive or in some kind of simulation, and (c) if being in a different body with its altered chemistry was affecting the way my mind works. (c) was especially relevant given that they seemed to be looking for a supergenius and I had very little expectation that a brain without my dopamine issues and a body with various other differences (including gut fauna; this, via recent ScienceDaily articles about the surprisingly pervasive effects of our gut fauna on our bodies, is probably what set off the dream) would process information in quite the same way.
The different body business turned out to be because of two things: first, that while they (or their ancestors) could apparently read engrams from frozen brains, they'd given up on any possibility of thawing people without their cells exploding en masse, and second because the space and power requirements of storing many corpsicles (term from aforementioned story, not used in the dream) had been such that they'd eventually simply scanned everyone's engrams into storage media and then mass buried the bodies. (At which point I wondered why they hadn't saved a couple cells from each for cloning, although dream-me never got the chance to ask about it.)
I was considering the phrasing of that question while listening to a brief explanation of current events that implied more than it said: that we were not on Earth, that at least several hundred years had passed, and that my revivers didn't quite know what they were doing. That is, it was clear that they had, and understood, the equipment for storing and recovering engrams, but were puzzled by some of the protocols they were following; those protocols, however, to me indicated that whoever had put them in place had at least somewhat understood the implications of reviving someone from a different time and culture. Much of this came out by comparison: I was apparently far from the first person this group had revived, and was handling it rather differently than their earlier attempts; most of whom, I was told, had not made much of an attempt to understand the nature of their new circumstances. (This was, again, taken as proof that I was some kind of supergenius. I was wondering how to break it to them that it it was less about genius than about always feeling somewhat out of place.) In this context I asked about some kind of access to current and historical information so I could try to get a feel for my new life. —And then someone in the next room bumped the wall and I was fully awake.
I'm reading this as a touch of Impostor Syndrome, to the extent that one of the reasons I'm not doing so well in looking for jobs is the feeling that I'm not able to measure up to what others see of me (or what my résumé says about me, for that matter) and am therefore afraid to apply to jobs at the level I "should" be working at, and aiming at lower level jobs either makes people suspicious or leaves them wondering if I'll demand too high a salary. (Please. I used to work in academia, and before that for very small companies. I only barely reached what would be the market rate for entry level jobs in my field....) In particular, over the past several days I've apparently managed to give a number of people the impression that I am somehow omniscient; for example, the other day someone showed up in #haskell asking rather odd questions about how GHC worked, and I was able to figure out that they were coming at it from the impression that it was a self-bootstrapping virtual machine architecture instead of a compiler. (The entire conversation before that felt a lot like people speaking different languages at each other while thinking they were speaking the same language; which, in a certain sense, is true.) I'm also increasingly worried that aforementioned dopamine issues (never clearly determined, but pretty much everything wrong with me can be mapped directly to specific known effects of dopamine imbalance) are getting worse; of course, the flip side of this is that anxiety doesn't help with dopamine imbalances at all....
on the edge
2012-03-16 04:42As you might infer from silence, the SCEA job fell through (they chose a local).
At the moment I'm still hunting down and filling out job applications, both in my field and for local temporary jobs; both are having about the same effect (i.e. little if any observable). Meanwhile I'm cutting my rations in half (one pseudo-"ramen" and one PB&J sandwich per day, max) to try to stretch them another week or possibly more. I do have some things to add to them (various spices to try to make them not taste quite as crappy, and maybe to pretend to be vegetable-y; tiny amounts of dried veggies on top of that; "vienna sausages" to pretend to be protein, one per day — those will stretch beyond the ramen as a result, another 2 weeks if I stick to one per day. The PB&J is less clear; I can afford to buy enough bread to go a couple more weeks, the rest might stretch beyond that a little ways.
The stuff in AWS will have to go away before the end of the month as there's no way to pay for this month much less next. IRC will become much less reliable, in keeping with the unreliable nature of the local network; meanwhile, anyone depending on lopbot's logging or notification functions had best find a replacement now.
No, I have no clue what else happens in two weeks.
At the moment I'm still hunting down and filling out job applications, both in my field and for local temporary jobs; both are having about the same effect (i.e. little if any observable). Meanwhile I'm cutting my rations in half (one pseudo-"ramen" and one PB&J sandwich per day, max) to try to stretch them another week or possibly more. I do have some things to add to them (various spices to try to make them not taste quite as crappy, and maybe to pretend to be vegetable-y; tiny amounts of dried veggies on top of that; "vienna sausages" to pretend to be protein, one per day — those will stretch beyond the ramen as a result, another 2 weeks if I stick to one per day. The PB&J is less clear; I can afford to buy enough bread to go a couple more weeks, the rest might stretch beyond that a little ways.
The stuff in AWS will have to go away before the end of the month as there's no way to pay for this month much less next. IRC will become much less reliable, in keeping with the unreliable nature of the local network; meanwhile, anyone depending on lopbot's logging or notification functions had best find a replacement now.
No, I have no clue what else happens in two weeks.
(no subject)
2012-02-22 16:45Ok, PayPal account is live. allbery dot b at gmail dot com (as ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
synecdochic noted, using their actual widgets seems like inviting trouble these days). I wish I didn't need to do this, and in fact (having not heard anything today; yes, I'm aware that's asking a lot) I am probably applying at the McDonalds up the street shortly to get something maybe going. Aaargh.
synecdochic noted, using their actual widgets seems like inviting trouble these days). I wish I didn't need to do this, and in fact (having not heard anything today; yes, I'm aware that's asking a lot) I am probably applying at the McDonalds up the street shortly to get something maybe going. Aaargh.
(no subject)
2012-02-18 19:14Setting up an Elance profile (unsurprisingly, it's not a resume, it wants examples of work and such) is kinda not what I need to be dealing with when (a) I've not been a programmer per se for years (b) I'm already questioning my competence on the grounds that I completely lost track of the cat and the money being siphoned out of my account on her behalf for the past 6 months. Don't have so much brainweasels as brain shoggoths at the moment.
I did not need this...
2012-02-18 16:50Lost track of second cat — who is being boarded. The kennel just sucked up the remaining $1000 or so of the hat pass and is demanding more....
(I'm trying to get PayPal set up. allbery dot b at gmail dot com)
Additionally I'm signing up on elance.com on the off chance I can find something to do to get some money in. And aforementioned cat, I will have to retrieve and take to a shelter; g*d knows how I'll deal with settling the account.)
eta: I'm not immediately out on the street or anything, I have food and managed to get the motel room renewed for another week.
(I'm trying to get PayPal set up. allbery dot b at gmail dot com)
Additionally I'm signing up on elance.com on the off chance I can find something to do to get some money in. And aforementioned cat, I will have to retrieve and take to a shelter; g*d knows how I'll deal with settling the account.)
eta: I'm not immediately out on the street or anything, I have food and managed to get the motel room renewed for another week.
Haven't heard from the Louisville job in over a week; assuming it's dead, possibly due to their utter confusion over a nonlocal applicant.
I have just been scheduled for a second level (technical) phone interview with SCEA. Since people have already asked me this: no, it's not the folks who install rootkits on people's machines. It is the group that produced a DIY Linux setup for the Playstation, slipped it out as an official product, then got caught by control-freak corporate lawyers and were forced to disable it — but are still fighting to restore it, using the argument that EEC lawyers consider the Sony lawyers' actions to be breach of contract. One can hope.
I have just been scheduled for a second level (technical) phone interview with SCEA. Since people have already asked me this: no, it's not the folks who install rootkits on people's machines. It is the group that produced a DIY Linux setup for the Playstation, slipped it out as an official product, then got caught by control-freak corporate lawyers and were forced to disable it — but are still fighting to restore it, using the argument that EEC lawyers consider the Sony lawyers' actions to be breach of contract. One can hope.
updatey thing
2012-02-02 20:34Considering that synecdochic decided to pass the hat for me and I seem to have acquired a few more followers as a result, I should probably mention current status. (I'm still of two minds about that whole thing, even without "but that summary isn't quite right".)
As of today, I have:
So, alive, still scrambling for a job. Oh, and TEKsystems Cleveland confirmed what I already had figured out (long since; there's a reason I was last in Pittsburgh): nobody around here wants a seasoned Unix sysadmin. (Lots of people asking elsewhere, though; still working through those.) And if the net here is as crap tomorrow as it has been today (when I've been around, at least) I may go back to camping at McDonalds. Or maybe try to find the local Caribou Coffee that's supposed to be just down the road, but that's kinda on the expensive end of "where can I find coffee and free wifi".
synecdochic decided to pass the hat for me and I seem to have acquired a few more followers as a result, I should probably mention current status. (I'm still of two minds about that whole thing, even without "but that summary isn't quite right".)As of today, I have:
- a Google Engineering recruiter who seems to think I can put everything else on hold so we can schedule a phone interview; that one has, I think, reached "indefinite wait while I find something that will happen sooner";
- waiting on a call back from the Louisville job. I should probably not be surprised that it went silent after the rather evident mess of the initial interview. (Not mess on my part; they directed me to their Cleveland office, which turned out not to have any idea what to do with me. This does not inspire confidence);
- a headhunter(?) in Missouri (if the CID can be trusted) who has incomprehensible phone manners;
- the tires, at least, are dealt with; turned out they just needed to be re-seated on the rims, but
- the front brakes were pretty much gone;
- I still have other prospects I'm working on, although not the past few days because
- the almost a week living out of my car left me with a massive cold, which was at its worst yesterday and the day before (and I'm not sure how I managed to not cough during the interview).
So, alive, still scrambling for a job. Oh, and TEKsystems Cleveland confirmed what I already had figured out (long since; there's a reason I was last in Pittsburgh): nobody around here wants a seasoned Unix sysadmin. (Lots of people asking elsewhere, though; still working through those.) And if the net here is as crap tomorrow as it has been today (when I've been around, at least) I may go back to camping at McDonalds. Or maybe try to find the local Caribou Coffee that's supposed to be just down the road, but that's kinda on the expensive end of "where can I find coffee and free wifi".
(no subject)
2012-01-13 11:26Dear Google, WHAT THE F@*K?!
(tl;dr: Google Kenya is using seriously predatory and deceptive business practices)
(tl;dr: Google Kenya is using seriously predatory and deceptive business practices)
(no subject)
2011-12-03 08:47It occurs to me I should explain the quantum question more thoroughly, because the "well, duh" answer is that only the aggregate behavior of the bonds in a benzene ring has been determined. The problem with this answer is that the many-worlds and transactional interpretations are the classical interpretation; the quantum indeterminacy has been pushed into either other universes or unobservable mid-transaction states, and what is visible is the classical alternation of single and double bonds. (This is the reason other interpretations hang on; probability waves bother many physicists. it's only the Copenhagen interpretation that has the potential to produce results outside the peak of the bell curve, as far as I can determine.) If you can assert that the behavior is quantum in nature, then you must therefore have ruled out not only the classical answer but also the observably-classical answers.
More specifically: with observably-classical interpretations, it is the state of the entire ring that is indeterminate. If you tag two consecutive carbon atoms, whether the bond between them is single or double is indeterminate, but the bonds in the rest of the ring must correspond. With the Copenhagen interpretation, any given carbon-carbon bond will be randomly single or double without regard to the rest of the ring, with the classical result the highest probability but not the only one; this is the kind of thing that other interpretations are trying to abolish, because it leads to an observable probability of classically impossible states (more precisely, to states whose energy is too high).
The fun part is, I think we've observed such states in purely physics contexts (that is, contexts where covalent bonds aren't involved). I don't know details well enough to know if I can ask this question with respect to them, though.
More specifically: with observably-classical interpretations, it is the state of the entire ring that is indeterminate. If you tag two consecutive carbon atoms, whether the bond between them is single or double is indeterminate, but the bonds in the rest of the ring must correspond. With the Copenhagen interpretation, any given carbon-carbon bond will be randomly single or double without regard to the rest of the ring, with the classical result the highest probability but not the only one; this is the kind of thing that other interpretations are trying to abolish, because it leads to an observable probability of classically impossible states (more precisely, to states whose energy is too high).
The fun part is, I think we've observed such states in purely physics contexts (that is, contexts where covalent bonds aren't involved). I don't know details well enough to know if I can ask this question with respect to them, though.
Why do carbon and carbon/nitrogen rings not prove the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics? I can't see them arising as such according to the Everett/Wheeler/DeWitt "many worlds" interpretation or the transactional interpretation (although I admit my understanding of the latter is somewhat weak, it seems to be trying to avoid the possibility of probabilistic constructs such as the "partial bonds" in such rings).
Getting kicked deep(er) into depression does something to my brain that I have only partial control over. I've just realized that I can't even solve a Trivial-level sudoku — at some level I'm just going *flail* when I try to analyze it, and if I force it I miss stuff and make stupid errors, like that part of my brain just isn't working right.
still alive
2011-10-28 11:45So, I kinda went into radio silence with respect to most so-called social media after the rent money ran out and I got evicted from my apartment. I'm currently in an undisclosed location a motel in Macedonia, OH, a couple miles from my sister's house, living off of some inheritance money I was able to get un-stuck. (Still working on more of that, plus looking for a job preferably away from what looks to me increasingly like looming DOOM.)
Brief summary of what's happened: evicted a week before Memorial Day lived in my sister's basement until mid July at which point I moved out because they needed the space back (and then didn't get it; I was already suspecting what turned out to be a major mold problem due to a cracked foundation, from the fact that I was starting to get very itchy — took me a month of scrubbing with antifungal soap to kill that off, and they're still putting their basement back together).
I am also, unfortunately, back pretty deep into severe depression (between joblessness, watching that money gradually dwindle, and watching the political and socioeconomic situation deteriorate rapidly; add that I ran out of drugs months ago) which is not helping me with actually getting stuff done. On top of which, autumn asserted itself here about a month ago as waves of frontal lines and pressure cells which set off my sinuses, and it's been getting steadily worse; I spent the past week more or less incapacitated by dizziness. Not happy-making.
I should not be delving into "side projects" when I'm not getting essential stuff done, but I'm starting to do so anyway, just because doing anything has a good chance of helping with the depression and kicking myself back into gear. (I can hope; if nothing else, it helped me get up the gumption to say something here.)
Brief summary of what's happened: evicted a week before Memorial Day lived in my sister's basement until mid July at which point I moved out because they needed the space back (and then didn't get it; I was already suspecting what turned out to be a major mold problem due to a cracked foundation, from the fact that I was starting to get very itchy — took me a month of scrubbing with antifungal soap to kill that off, and they're still putting their basement back together).
I am also, unfortunately, back pretty deep into severe depression (between joblessness, watching that money gradually dwindle, and watching the political and socioeconomic situation deteriorate rapidly; add that I ran out of drugs months ago) which is not helping me with actually getting stuff done. On top of which, autumn asserted itself here about a month ago as waves of frontal lines and pressure cells which set off my sinuses, and it's been getting steadily worse; I spent the past week more or less incapacitated by dizziness. Not happy-making.
I should not be delving into "side projects" when I'm not getting essential stuff done, but I'm starting to do so anyway, just because doing anything has a good chance of helping with the depression and kicking myself back into gear. (I can hope; if nothing else, it helped me get up the gumption to say something here.)
(no subject)
2011-02-04 18:27So that big storm did ~nothing in Pittsburgh... except ravage my sinuses. Which means I lost days when I cold least afford them. I think Sunday will be spent in the Cleveland area trying to borrow enough money to make rent (ideally for Monday since after that it goes up $50, and why make things even harder for myself?).
It also means I didn't get to list that stuff on Craigslist, in particular the TV will be sitting idle when someone out there would probably love to have it — now I suspect it's too late. Meh.
It also means I didn't get to list that stuff on Craigslist, in particular the TV will be sitting idle when someone out there would probably love to have it — now I suspect it's too late. Meh.
okay, a little bit more
2011-02-01 21:133 things I can sell right away (two of which I really should have sold 6 months ago):
All items in good condition and fully working. (I outgrew the iMac and iPod Touch, and have a more modestly sized TV; the Sharp is a bit of a white elephant for my purposes.) The TV has (and had when purchased) a slight banding effect about 1/3 of the way from the right edge, a 1/2" band that is slightly darker than the rest of the screen, most noticeable with brighter images.
Asking:
ETA: I have no problem with delivering the smaller ones locally, but it's going to take at least 2 people to get the TV out of here.
- Sharp Aquos LC-42D62U 42" LCD TV, 1080p supported but it's too old (2007) for the newfangled stuff. Manual and remote included
- iPod Touch 2nd generation, 32GB, OS 4.2.1 loaded
- iMac 20", 2.77 GHz, 4GB RAM, 320GB HD (Apple P/N A1224 with 4GB memory expansion)
All items in good condition and fully working. (I outgrew the iMac and iPod Touch, and have a more modestly sized TV; the Sharp is a bit of a white elephant for my purposes.) The TV has (and had when purchased) a slight banding effect about 1/3 of the way from the right edge, a 1/2" band that is slightly darker than the rest of the screen, most noticeable with brighter images.
Asking:
- Sharp TV
- Would like $600, will consider down to $350 (New cost $1300)
- iPod Touch
- Would like $150, will consider down to $80
- iMac
- These seem to be going for around $1000 from resellers. Would like $800, will consider down to $450
ETA: I have no problem with delivering the smaller ones locally, but it's going to take at least 2 people to get the TV out of here.
I think I might be able to get Verizon to refund their overpayment, because I have to drop my current Internet service anyway — and since it's business service (one of the reasons it has to go) it can't really be used as a credit to future service.
Additionally, there are a few things I don't really need any more and am not at all certain I want to haul anywhere else. Such as, anyone want a 2007-vintage 42" HDTV for the upcoming Super Bowl? It cost $1200 in 2007, $350-$400 for it would be awfully nice... and I really don't want to haul the damn thing to Twinsburg. Or even out of my 3rd floor apartment for that matter :)
Additionally, there are a few things I don't really need any more and am not at all certain I want to haul anywhere else. Such as, anyone want a 2007-vintage 42" HDTV for the upcoming Super Bowl? It cost $1200 in 2007, $350-$400 for it would be awfully nice... and I really don't want to haul the damn thing to Twinsburg. Or even out of my 3rd floor apartment for that matter :)
